What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm having to shit out rocks
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