So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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