I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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