Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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