I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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