I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
