we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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