I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
where am i from again
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize