I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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