he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
