I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
