Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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