You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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