If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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