69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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