yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
