Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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