weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
