It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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