I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
