i don't like sucking hair
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
