hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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