if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
