So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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