Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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