I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
