What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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