I'm eating all of the evidence.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
