Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
