dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
