Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
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Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
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I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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