I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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