how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
