I'm going to jail i love you
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
