Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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