So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So much rum. So many feels.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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