Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
