The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
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I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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