seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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