Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
