I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
