it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
