why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
