your room smells of hookers.
And success
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
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i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
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Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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