Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
