About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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