the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
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i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
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Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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