I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I need to calm my uterus...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
that may or may not have been my penis.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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