toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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