i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
