Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
