i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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