my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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