I cockslap morals
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize