Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I need moral support for this bender
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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