pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
