that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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