Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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