Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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