I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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