I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
